Taking "selfish" to an all new level.

I think I used to be a giver. Have a baby? I'd like to bring you a casserole. Football Saturday? I'm making white chicken chili and cornbread, come on over! Need a babysitter? I'd love to!

Well, I have been so incredibly selfish lately. I've been through a lot so I am cutting myself some slack about it, but I hope to share my life with someone special someday (sooner rather than later, where are you at mister?!?) and I hope the giver in me makes a comeback. Although I need a better balance next go-round with the give and take ratio.

Maybe I am not really selfish, but bored. It just seems that all I ever do is stuff for me. Saturday, my mom and I walked the Green Mountain Nature Trail so I guess that wasn't totally selfish. Yesterday, I ran a couple of miles, grocery shopped, cooked for myself for the week, and then went to tan for the first time in a long time (I swore it off, but I needed some color so I caved). Today I went to work, but when I got off work I ran a couple more miles, tanned again, and then went and got a mani/pedi. Tomorrow I plan to run and then go get my eyebrows waxed. Wednesday is wine/painting with my favorite gals. Thursday I'll run and tan. Friday I am getting highlights and another Brazilian Blowout (and heck, let's just throw in some more running and tanning). See, kinda all about "me". Am I being selfish, or is this just what single people do?

Here's the other thing. If this is all completely selfish, I don't give a rip. I'm really enjoying it (insert evil laugh). So there!

One more silly note: My blog is a year old! This whole blog thing started with a totally opposite theme, but I'm still Season and so it continues...

Sometimes you just have to keep it light.

So, I've been doing a lot of reading. I'm really all over the place with my book selections. I did finish The Shack last weekend and it was really good.

Next, I needed something a little lighter/funny/guilty pleasureish (new word). I am now reading another one of Jen Lancaster's masterpiece memoirs, Such a Pretty Fat: One Narcissist's Quest to Discover If Her Life Makes Her Ass Look Big, or Why Pie Is Not the Answer. This book is HILARIOUS! I feel like she steals my thoughts and writes them (and makes a lot of money for it probably...if I could find a way to prove it I'd press for royalties). There is only one book left by Lancaster that I haven't read, Pretty in Plaid: A Life, A Witch, and a Wardrobe, or, the Wonder Years Before the Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smart-Ass Phase and that one is next (although I wonder if I need to save it in case I come upon some hard times and need a pick-me-up...Jen - get to writing more! I need you!).

I'm off for a cold run outside. This new year is already awesome! Oh, and even though I TRIED to run the NYE 5K, it was canceled while we were all standing soaking wet at the start line. Apparently lightening is a party pooper. Oh well, I tried.

Setting my New Year's Resolutions

One of the great things about blogging is the permanent record of things you want to hold yourself accountable for...once you put it out there, you just have to do it. I have several goals/resolutions for 2011, all mostly selfish:

1. Outdoor Adventure - I want to go hiking, kayaking, whitewater rafting, and possibly even ziplining again. I want to spend a lot of time outdoors, getting fresh air, and seeing new places.

2. Running/Jogging - I want to run the Cotton Row and the Ribbon Run 5K's without stopping to walk once.

3. Work - I haven't really felt on my A-game with work lately and I want to improve that (we'll blame that on the divorce, but that excuse will no longer apply in 2011...new year, new and improved me).

4. Reading - I would like to read at least 2 books per month. I'm always taking suggestions if anyone is even reading this.

5. Beach - I will make time to dip my toes in the sand on at least 2 beach trips this year.

6. Diet and Exercise - I don't plan to make any changes because I am already doing really good in this department, but I want to stay on the same path that I am on now. I hope to lose 25 lbs by my birthday in May and 25 more by the end of 2011. Lofty goals, but I mean business!

7. Denim - In 2011 I WILL fit into a pair of European-sized designer jeans (I'm thinking Joe's Jeans).

8. Relax - I plan to totally get my money's worth out of my apartment pool. I'll probably look like Snooki by the time September 2011 rolls around. I plan to wear sunscreen, no lectures needed.

9. Friendship - My friends have all been so supportive of me, and lately I really haven't been the kind of friend I normally like to think of myself as being. I haven't done anything bad to anyone, but I just haven't really done anything. I want to be more thoughtful in 2011 and show my dear friends how much I care about them.

10. Dreams and Expectations - I can't remember where I read, heard, or saw this, but I am going to stop praying for the end result (the loving husband, 2.5 children, and a white picket fence)...I am just going to pray for the next step. In 2011, I would like to go on a date with a nice guy...that's it.

Ok, so I just put it all out there. Starting tomorrow, I've got a lot of work to do. Technically, I'm starting tonight with the midnight 5K run.

Happy New Year to everyone!! Best wishes for the best year ever!

Goals, Goals, Goals, Goals...

I just hopped on the scale and my New Years Goal has been accomplished! Yippee!!! Now, it's on to the next one (Freeze! Somebody bring me back some money please).

I make no apologies for any Jay-Z references, I'm happy!

Top 10 Moments of 2010

Now that 2010 is almost over, I wanted to recap my top 10 moments/events of the year (in no particular order).

1. Gardening - This was so much fun and I am so glad to know I can grow food. I will definitely revisit this once I buy another house (which I hope to do soon...it's on my 1-2 year plan). Oh, how I will miss those German Johnson heirloom tomatoes this year, and the squash, and the zucchini, and the strawberries, and the blueberries...you get the point. I'll have it all again one day, mark my words!

2. Ziplining - This was so intense and challenging! I hated every minute of it in the moment, but would do it again in a heartbeat. I just can't explain it.

3. Babysitting - I did a lot of babysitting in 2010 and had a blast. My friends all have the cutest kiddos...so glad they trust me!

4. Walking - I saw a lot of greenways/trails this year. I didn't walk as much as I would have liked but I did walk at least once on every greenway in Huntsville. I think my favorite is the Aldridge Creek Greenway...it's so pretty and I love sitting on the benches when once you finally make it to the Tennessee River!

5. Cake making - Although it is a huge messy pain in the bootay, I am glad I conquered a tiered fondant cake. Marking that off the bucket list! Duff from Ace of Cakes, you have my respect man!

6. Kayaking - My happy hour Girl's Night Out float on the Flint River was hilarious! Must revisit this again in 2011.

7. Dipping out of the Cotton Row - Not my proudest moment, but definitely funny. I was at home eating a hot dog off the grill before my friends knew I was missing. ha!

8. iPhone - Shout-out to technology, but getting my iPhone was a definite highlight of 2010. It may be lame to get that pumped about a phone, but I love it so there!

9. Roadtrip to Florida with my mom - Even though the death of my dear Uncle Al was not the best scenario for a roadtrip, my mom and I enjoyed ourselves on the roadtrip from Huntsville, AL to Deerfield Beach, FL. Sure, 13 hours one way sounds grueling, but my mom is a hoot and we laughed and laughed and laughed the whole way down and back. I am so thankful for that time with her.

10. Independence - My life is so different now at the end of 2010 vs. the beginning of 2010. However, I am kind of proud of myself for getting through it all with a smile on my face. Today while out on a jog, I totally had one of those stupid Oprah "ah-ha" moments. I'm strong and tough and happy. Can't beat that, right?

Making New Year's Eve a little less awkward

It's no secret that I am 110% ready for 2011 (I mean seriously, it's all I talk about these days). I've been thinking about how I would ring in the new year and I have been stumped. I wanted to do something fun, but most all of my friends are coupled up. This isn't usually a problem because I can hang with the best of them, but on New Year's Eve there is always that midnight kiss and I am just not up for the awkwardness this year. Maybe it's not a big deal, but the thought was giving me the hives. My friend Kari had mentioned a midnight 5K run for charity a few weeks ago and I dismissed that idea...I can't run in the cold (heck, I can barely run in comfortable temps). Well, fast forward to the week of New Year's Eve and the weather is going to be in the 60s on Friday!!! So, I will be doing the midnight run!!! I am so excited! What a wonderful way to begin what I hope and pray will be a wonderful fresh year for me!? Added bonus - since the race doesn't start until 11:30pm and I am a total slow poke, I will still be running at midnight...translation: there will be no awkward kissy moment. Ahhhh, relief!

Because I like to assess my skillz (ha!) before I publicly humiliate myself, I left work a little early today because I wanted to run/walk 3.1 miles just to see where I stand. Of course I can't run all of it, but I surprised myself with how much I pushed myself. I went on the Indian Creek Greenway (the Providence stretch) and there was still snow on the ground. It was beautiful (even though my lungs were burning). I even had to take a couple of pictures because I love the colonial look of the homes in Providence with the snow on the ground.

A White Christmas

Today I woke up to beautiful snow. When I went to bed, the weather folks (who are mostly inaccurate in this area) were talking about some winter precipitation, but I usually never take them seriously. It was a nice surprise to wake up to, and it continued to snow all day long! It's actually still snowing!! This is the picture from my balcony, I think it looks like a Christmas card.



Although I just want it to be 2011 (and better yet, I'll take Spring!), I had to admit this was beautiful. Right now I am reading The Shack by William Young, so that entertained me today. So far, it's a great book!

Screeching Halt

I am at a weight loss plateau! It's got me a little bummed out, but I have to remind myself that I've already lost so much and that I'll get there. I am off work for the next 4 days, so I plan to get in some major cardio to kick my butt back in gear.

I am so ready for 2011 I can hardly stand it. I don't want to wish away Christmas, but I'm human and I'll just admit it...I'm over it. I try to reflect on the birth of Jesus Christ when I am feeling tired of all of the Christmas hoopla...just to force myself to remember the deeper meaning. Even so, I just want it all to go away. I don't want to see Christmas trees, ornaments, cookies, candy canes, Santa, stockings, elves, jingle bells, mistletoe, garland, stars, tacky outdoor decorations, wrapping paper, bows, casserole dishes, etc. Bah humbug, right? I just REALLY want 2011 to be here...who doesn't want the feeling of a fresh new year?

Positive reinforcement for bad behavior...and I like it!

These recent blog posts are self-indulgent to the max, but I'm just excited so I can't help it. I am now only 1 lb away from my year end goal. The funny part is that it keeps falling off despite semi-bad behavior. Here's a breakdown of recent awesome results after behaving badly:

1. Two beers with the girls at the Nook on Friday; 2 lb weight loss Saturday morning

2. Bottle of wine at my sweet friend Lori's house on Saturday; 2 lb weight loss Sunday morning

3. Dinner/drinks with the girls on Friday; 2 lb weight loss on Saturday

WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON? Please tell me why I shouldn't become an alcoholic?!? I kid, but wowzas! I'm just excited I guess. I am almost there!! It would be so cool to get started on my next weight loss goal early and bathing suit season is just around the corner.

It's the final countdowwwwwwwwn!

This will be the shortest posting ever. I am officially only 3 lbs away from my year end goal. That's all.

Banana Rolls

A few months ago, Banana Rolls would have been some awesome dessert I whipped up. Well, now they are this awesome little series of moves on my P90x Core Synergistics DVD. This little move is fun but wowzas it hurts the next day. My core is sore (ooooh, that rhymes). I still haven't really dedicated myself to the P90x program. I need a little more willpower. I think the winter weather is dragging me down. I need to start looking at the pool from my patio/deck and maybe that will get me going just thinking about bathing suit season. Plus, I know it will make me feel better. I am offically down 23 lbs...only 4 lbs to go until I reach my New Years goal. I will still have a ways to go after that, but I'm getting there. I can really tell in how my clothes fit...some are getting too big and that's awesome. I've been trying to wear smaller sizes just to make things uncomfortable (so I'll step away from the chocolate).

Hope it keeps coming off!

Last night I went to a local bar called The Nook with some gal pals. This place isn't one of those wild and crazy bars...it's a calm place for beer snobs (and it is smoke-free which I LOVE). I don't drink a whole lot, a glass of wine here and there but the older I get the worse I feel in the morning...with me, one drink can make for a mild hangover. Anyway, I actually had 2 beers last night and they were very good! I don't remember what the first beer was (it was good, but no lasting impression), but the second beer was a peach lambic and it tasted like peach juice. Very tasty. Their menu is HUGE...it's worth going just for interesting conversation. I left feeling like I learned a little bit.

So, I woke up this morning down 2 more pounds! I am now only 6 lbs away from my year-end goal...all in all I've lost 21 lbs since the divorce. I'm not stressed anymore either so that is not reason for the weight coming off. Know what I think it is? For years (even though my ex and I did have some good times), I masked everything with a casserole. I know that sounds silly, but when things at home are not right it seems as if you can repair things with a good meal. Cooking made me feel like things were normal.

Feelings hurt? Broccoli Cheese and Rice Casserole.

Losing trust? Sausage Cream Cheese Squares.

Argument with tears? Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, green beans, Sister Shubert rolls, and a sour cream pound cake.

It all adds up and in the end you look in the mirror and wonder what the heck happened. I'm glad I can look back and see this so I never do a repeat. I think I am now finding my happy weight...the weight I should have been all along had I not been looking for Paula Deen's cure.

I've been a reading fool!

Ok, so any and all workouts have completely gone out the window in lieu of reading. I have been reading so much! I blame it on the awesome book suggestions I've been getting from all my friends (Facebook provides a wonderful opportunity to share recommendations of all kinds). I know these blog entries about reading, books, etc. may be a little boring...I'm sure my garden pictures/captions were a little more entertaining. BUT, the last two books I read were so profound that I just want to "go tell it on the mountain" and beg everyone to read these books. First, Same Kind of Different As Me: A Modern-Day Slave, an International Art Dealer, and the Unlikely Woman Who Bound Them Together by Ron Hall, Denver Moore, and Lynn Vincent was such an inspiring book. Just when I was ready to declare it my favorite book of all time (which is pretty amazing in itself...I've read my share of wonderful books), I started another book. Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers was also an extraordinary book. I don't want to give any details of these books because my synopsis just won't do them justice, I just plead that everyone read them ASAP! God's love is so powerful.

Not to take away from any of the above, but I guess diet alone is working and I am only 8 lbs away from my year end goal. I even lost weight over Thanksgiving (crazy, I know!). So, I've got to get down to business. I actually recently purchased P90X (brand new, off Craigslist, whoop whoop!) and I have yet to start it. I've just got to suck it up and get to it. I hope it doesn't make me beef up...eek!

Reading Detour

I am still reading Decision Points by George W. Bush but I had to take a temporary detour and read Patti Stanger's Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate. The book recommend came from a very sweet high school friend that sent me a very thoughtful message. Anyway, it was a very good book. Most of it was obvious information, but it was helpful for getting me in the mindset of dating again.

The thing about dating after a divorce that I think will be weird is not bringing up the past. Granted, I know that it wouldn't be healthy or productive to dredge up old relationship issues and discuss those on the first (or second, or third) date. BUT, how do I let someone get to know me without occasionally mentioning the past 10 years of my life. Seems weird. I'm sure I'll figure it out. On a funny note, a co-worker told me the other day that I am a real catch. Wanna know why he thinks I am a catch? I come fully equipped with health insurance. ha! So, if my cheery personality doesn't reel them in I guess I have something else to sweeten the pot. Nice.

Still boycotting all things domestic, in a happy non-bitter way.

It's so weird that I still haven't cooked. I did fry an egg the other day and I'll make a piece of toast every few days, but that's as far as I've taken it. I have been following the Zone Diet (when not dining out, which I need to stop doing so much of) and my protein is usually deli meat, my carbs are fruits and veggies (uncooked), and my fat is almonds. Sounds kind of boring, but when I stick to it I end up feeling like a million bucks. It is by far the best way to eat...it's not really a diet, just how we all should be eating in the first place.

Even though I am watching what I eat, I am still getting excited about my favorite holiday, Thanksgiving (although I will be forced to make sweet potato casserole to take to our family dinner, which totally breaks my non-cooking trend). I am normally thinking about my Christmas shopping now, making my list and checking it twice. I am usually already itching to get my Christmas decor/tree up (which I have no interest in this year). I haven't really thought about it much. Funny though, I am not dreading the holidays like people may expect. Maybe this new single lifestyle that I am getting used to is helping me relax a little bit. My future is unknown and I can't really be the annoying list-making planner that I've always been. Plus, after Christmas is the best thing ever...a brand new year! I am definitely not wishing my holidays away but I am looking forward to an exciting 2011. Bring on the turkey and dressin', the Christmas music, and a festive cocktail to start the new year!

Now currently reading...

Decision Points by President George W. Bush. It is a really good read so far and I like the structure of the book. Whether or not you agree with his political decisions, he is a likable guy (and actually pretty funny). I think history will be kind to him.

The Blessings of Friendship

Sometimes when one is going through a major life change, it is easy to focus on the negative and scary aspects of transition. While I have my moments, it is really hard for me to have a pity party because I am surrounded by so many wonderful friends. Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky.

Friendships come in varying degrees of closeness and purpose, but all are meaningful in their own way. Some friends are great if you need a good cry and want to show vulnerability. Some friends tell it like it is, force you to realize your worth (and even tell you when you are dead wrong). Some friends are great for a good time...when you don't really want to have a deep talk. Some come out of the woodwork to share a similar experience just so you know you aren't alone and offer some encouragement. Some just pray for you.

There are people in my life that represent the above descriptions. A few of my friends have many or all of these qualities. So, I am thankful for all of the dear friendships I share.

What am I reading?

Ok, since I now only have 2 hobbies (working out and reading), I thought I would post what I am currently reading and make updates every time I start a new book.

So, I am now reading Jen Lancaster's Bitter is the New Black : Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass,Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office. It is hilarious and I recommend Jen Lancaster to any girl wanting to read a funny chick-lit type book. I have also read Lancaster's My Fair Lazy: One Reality Television Addict's Attempt to Discover If Not Being A Dumb Ass Is the New Black, or, a Culture-Up Manifesto, which is my absolute favorite, and Bright Lights, Big Ass: A Self-Indulgent, Surly, Ex-Sorority Girl's Guide to Why it Often Sucks in the City, or Who are These Idiots and Why Do They All Live Next Door to Me? . I think this lady is my soul sister as I often read and wonder if I wrote the book myself.

You may be going through a divorce if....

This is all you buy on a shopping trip to Target.



These items in their individual form represent nothing, but when grouped together they scream divorce. Of all the things I left with my soon to be ex-husband, the scale shouldn't have been one of them. I am in the weight loss mindset so I need the scale to keep me on track. I needed the wine to help me unwind, and don't even get me started on the skin firming lotion...just know it's needed (and I am crazy enough right now to go get liposuction...I'm trying to stop the madness by buying some cheapie lotion). So, there you have it.

Happy Monday!

Turning the page

During 2010, I have done so many new things in the homemaking realm.  I've sewn, gardened, cooked, baked, made jelly, tried my hand at a fully decorated cake with fondant icing, and the list goes on.  I am so thankful that I now know I can do all these activities.  I definitely hope to pick it back up someday.  Unfortunately, Kevin and I are divorcing...I am soon going to be a single girl on my own (and with my sweet dog Stoli of course).  I need to do what the single girls do.  Know what?  I have no flippin' clue what single girls do.  I guess that is what happens when you meet your husband at age 20, get married at 23, and divorce at age 30.  I've spent the last 10 years in a committed relationship and to say I am a little lost is an understatement.  I'm just going to do what I always do...I'm going to figure it out.

Here's what I do know:

1. I'm done being Suzy Homemaker.  I have no desire to do anything domestic right now.  I don't even feel like making Kraft Dinner.  

2.  Laundry for one is something I am currently enjoying.

3.  Moving from a 2600 sq ft house to a 755 sq ft apartment is scary and liberating.  

4. I'm going to miss my garden grown tomatoes.

5. My new activities are reading and working out.  I've always enjoyed reading...now I'll just do more of it.  Working out is important because I need to take care of me.  Dating is not even close to being on my mind right now, but one day it probably will be (eek!) and of course I would like to look good.

6.  I am blessed with the best family and friends a girl could ask for.  Everyone has shown me so much support, it is truly amazing.

7.  I am thankful for a friendly divorce (if that is possible).  Kevin and I have been so kind to each other throughout this process.  I wish more people would try to have civil divorces.

I guess that is it.  Life, even when it is really sucky, is pretty awesome.  I am going to get through this (that is what I keep telling myself) and come out on the other side a stronger person.  Clearly, my blog theme will be changing a little but I still hope to keep things interesting.  Much love to all!